Every human being can desire,
and desire, and desire still more,
until that desire tears away the veil
of appearances covering his eyes,
and he can finally see his essence.
He will then be able to see
the abstract substance of life. -Kahlil Gibran-
I have loved and lost. Truthfully, there's been more loosing than loving but I know I am alive.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
You are Free
You are free before the sun of the day,
and free before the stars of the night;
And you are free when there is no sun and no moon and no star.
You are even free when you close your eyes upon all there is.
~Khalil Gibran~
and free before the stars of the night;
And you are free when there is no sun and no moon and no star.
You are even free when you close your eyes upon all there is.
~Khalil Gibran~
Friday, October 30, 2009
soulbrother v.2: Far Better Men than I: My Vision for My Sons
soulbrother v.2: Far Better Men than I: My Vision for My Sons
Max, thank you for this post. I have to confess that I passed over this post initially. My first urgings were that this was going to another one of those false attempts at the subject. One where the writer gives up some fantastical depiction of manhood draped in machismo, myth and ignorance. You didn't, you captured the essence of what I've always felt. This was so honest, I am glad I listened to that little voice that told me to go ahead and check it out.
Many of the things you stated, I have learned the hard way. Thank God I never created any children along the way but I had a careless period.
You had more than I had though, my father didn't even bother. This question has been banging around in my head for forty years. My father left us when I was about six years old.
The night he had enough and walked out I heard an audible voice say "things will never be the same", and it wasn't.
My mother was an angry woman before my father left. Her father was a functioning alcoholic with abusive tendencies and a philanderer. He has three sets of children with three different women. My father most certainly maid it worse. No man ever had a chance after that. Imagine being the son of a woman in that situation. I caught it for real.
All through my life I would ask myself "is this what a man would do""would a man put up with this?" "how does a man handle this?". I had no point of reference, my mother never allowed another man into her life.
I have learned these things: Honor is real and recognizable, though rewards may be slowly and begrudgingly given so your solace must be in honor itself.
Your actions must be measured until such time as to turn it loose and go for what you desire. If all your steps are certain, you haven't extended yourself when your opportunity presented itself. You will have to step out on faith sometime.
In your meekness you are strong. Bravado and bluster is foolish more often than not. There is a time a place for all things. You will be brought to your knees along the way. At such a time you will discover a great strength.
You will have to endure strife. From those you call your own and those you don't know, but mostly from within yourself. Experience is the best teacher after all.. This will be how you develop the patience of God.
You must love. This is the greatest strength of all, without this ability you will be consumed.
You must provide for more than yourself. If you haven't learned to love you will get this wrong and will not have mattered when your story has ended.
There is more but this is enough.
Max, thank you for this post. I have to confess that I passed over this post initially. My first urgings were that this was going to another one of those false attempts at the subject. One where the writer gives up some fantastical depiction of manhood draped in machismo, myth and ignorance. You didn't, you captured the essence of what I've always felt. This was so honest, I am glad I listened to that little voice that told me to go ahead and check it out.
Many of the things you stated, I have learned the hard way. Thank God I never created any children along the way but I had a careless period.
You had more than I had though, my father didn't even bother. This question has been banging around in my head for forty years. My father left us when I was about six years old.
The night he had enough and walked out I heard an audible voice say "things will never be the same", and it wasn't.
My mother was an angry woman before my father left. Her father was a functioning alcoholic with abusive tendencies and a philanderer. He has three sets of children with three different women. My father most certainly maid it worse. No man ever had a chance after that. Imagine being the son of a woman in that situation. I caught it for real.
All through my life I would ask myself "is this what a man would do""would a man put up with this?" "how does a man handle this?". I had no point of reference, my mother never allowed another man into her life.
I have learned these things: Honor is real and recognizable, though rewards may be slowly and begrudgingly given so your solace must be in honor itself.
Your actions must be measured until such time as to turn it loose and go for what you desire. If all your steps are certain, you haven't extended yourself when your opportunity presented itself. You will have to step out on faith sometime.
In your meekness you are strong. Bravado and bluster is foolish more often than not. There is a time a place for all things. You will be brought to your knees along the way. At such a time you will discover a great strength.
You will have to endure strife. From those you call your own and those you don't know, but mostly from within yourself. Experience is the best teacher after all.. This will be how you develop the patience of God.
You must love. This is the greatest strength of all, without this ability you will be consumed.
You must provide for more than yourself. If you haven't learned to love you will get this wrong and will not have mattered when your story has ended.
There is more but this is enough.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
soulbrother v.2: Do Black Men and Women Hate Each Other? (Love Is the Root Politic)
soulbrother v.2: Do Black Men and Women Hate Each Other? (Love Is the Root Politic)
Out of the mouths of mankind cometh the true leanings of the heart.
We all need to get real with ourselves. I mean honest with ourselves. Love is giving and too many of us enter into relationships thinking only of getting.
Too many of us aren't aware of ourselves and can never love someone else genuinely. I think our desires remain mostly for each other but the things we do and say to one another makes me wonder.
Out of the mouths of mankind cometh the true leanings of the heart.
We all need to get real with ourselves. I mean honest with ourselves. Love is giving and too many of us enter into relationships thinking only of getting.
Too many of us aren't aware of ourselves and can never love someone else genuinely. I think our desires remain mostly for each other but the things we do and say to one another makes me wonder.
soulbrother v.2: Ain't I a Womanist: Part II--Just What Is a Strong Black Woman?
soulbrother v.2: Ain't I a Womanist: Part II--Just What Is a Strong Black Woman?
I believe strength comes from identity which enable one to exude said strength.
If you have to trumpet this strength you are more likely nothing more than a blowhard.
This strength that so many people proclaim should keep us from getting caught up in so many situations we eventually have to overcome.
Somewhere in the Bible it says something to the effect of "in your meekness you are strong". I endeavor to acquire discipline of my mouth, my actions and my intentions.
I believe strength comes from identity which enable one to exude said strength.
If you have to trumpet this strength you are more likely nothing more than a blowhard.
This strength that so many people proclaim should keep us from getting caught up in so many situations we eventually have to overcome.
Somewhere in the Bible it says something to the effect of "in your meekness you are strong". I endeavor to acquire discipline of my mouth, my actions and my intentions.
soulbrother v.2: Ain't I a Womanist: Part 1--One Brother Attempts to Ground with His Sisters
soulbrother v.2: Ain't I a Womanist: Part 1--One Brother Attempts to Ground with His Sisters
From what you described you didn't do anything wrong.
I recently read something about pain and suffering, something to the effect of pain being the physical result of an event. That event could be physical or mental. Suffering is the mind's attempt to resist in some way what has happened, making suffering a choice and a perception. One can deal with the pain constructively or one could let the fact that they received the pain haunt them.
This you woman could have easily or simply said something to you before, during or after and this situation would not exist right now. She chose to suffer. You both could have gained immeasurably through effective communication. You both still can. Hint.
Man to man, if you think you are going to find one simple solution to dealing with anyone and their perceptions, you are going to frustrated many a day. Especially with women, you'll never know what they have going on in their lives, much less what's in their past. You would have to know a person's mental makeup (psychology), believe systems (theology or religion), and their approach to life (philosophy). There is know way for you to do that in a business environment.
You intentions were good and that's about it going into the situation. Now looking back at it, if it's bothering you try talking to her (with someone present). You might find resolution.
I agree with many of the previous post, she could very well have felt out of place and didn't know how to process it.
Let me finish with this, I am thinking of a number between one and a hundred guess what that number is. Would you play this game having no more of a clue than that? Even if you were to guess the correct number I could just as easily change it and you would never know. Are you going to deal with the pain or will you choose to suffer the not knowing what her issue is?
From what you described you didn't do anything wrong.
I recently read something about pain and suffering, something to the effect of pain being the physical result of an event. That event could be physical or mental. Suffering is the mind's attempt to resist in some way what has happened, making suffering a choice and a perception. One can deal with the pain constructively or one could let the fact that they received the pain haunt them.
This you woman could have easily or simply said something to you before, during or after and this situation would not exist right now. She chose to suffer. You both could have gained immeasurably through effective communication. You both still can. Hint.
Man to man, if you think you are going to find one simple solution to dealing with anyone and their perceptions, you are going to frustrated many a day. Especially with women, you'll never know what they have going on in their lives, much less what's in their past. You would have to know a person's mental makeup (psychology), believe systems (theology or religion), and their approach to life (philosophy). There is know way for you to do that in a business environment.
You intentions were good and that's about it going into the situation. Now looking back at it, if it's bothering you try talking to her (with someone present). You might find resolution.
I agree with many of the previous post, she could very well have felt out of place and didn't know how to process it.
Let me finish with this, I am thinking of a number between one and a hundred guess what that number is. Would you play this game having no more of a clue than that? Even if you were to guess the correct number I could just as easily change it and you would never know. Are you going to deal with the pain or will you choose to suffer the not knowing what her issue is?
Saturday, October 24, 2009
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